Dealing with the Loss of a Pet

Pet Loss
By Jan Hoadley

Having a dog is a commitment; a responsibility that should be taken seriously. Although we plan to have our dogs for 10-20 years the down side to pet ownership is the grief that follows when they leave us.

Sometimes this is having lived a full life, with increasing health issues and their little bodies just quit. Sometimes it’s what we think is “routine” – something they ate and the surgery shows a tumor, inoperable and instead of having them home in a few hours we’re faced with the heartbreaking decision to let them go, without having suffered what we know is coming but they do not. Sometimes the loss is sudden, with a young dog in the prime of his life that is healthy one day and gone the next morning either to sudden illness, an accident or any number of other things that steal them away far too soon. They are at peace and, with a wisdom beyond ours, do not fear death.

Those of us left behind to mourn and miss them struggle with emotion. Some say “it’s only a dog” – as if that life that was with you all the time for the past 2, 5, 10 years meant nothing. It’s hard to look at their dish, blanket, crate or leash without the tears flowing again. There are poems and books on grief of losing a pet, there are email lists for those with computer access.

So often we don’t consider what to do with our pet. In times past they were buried in the yard, but with increasing regulations that may not be a legal option. There are pet cemeteries, and pet cremation services available. In the cremation, your pet’s remains are in an urn proportionate to the size of the pet. Sometimes the veterinarian can arrange disposal but often our attachment to our canine friends is such that we aren’t quite ready to sever that tie, and cremation is a viable alternative.

When the pain of loss is fresh the thought of other dogs, even other dogs you own, is hard to consider. Remember they pick up on your emotion – but can’t process it. For this reason often after a loss remaining pets “act up.” Part of this is a natural redistribution of pack order but part of it is they need you to remain their leader. This is easy to say, not so easy to do but must be done – it is their way.

Remember the good times in a journal or blog. Preserve those precious photos, even snapshots. Although we miss them they are no longer in pain, they are not captive in bodies that no longer serve them. Love them, honor them and honor YOU as they would. That is their infinite gift to us.